Think you're the only one having trouble concentrating on that novel you're writing? Think again. In a brutally honest (and hilarious) post, Reader of Depressing Books reveals his writerly habits. Here's an excerpt of a typical writing session:
13. think about maximizing the manuscript of the novel in microsoft word
14. think briefly about my future
15. feel a little doomed
16. drink the rest of the coffee
17. look on the internet for something to inspire me
*****
35. select-all my novel and change the font size to eight and single-space it all, to gain perspective
36. scroll down, quickly, like a game
37. stop suddenly
38. read over a section
39. delete a comma that i had added the day before
40. delete an adjective that i had added the day before
41. delete some other things that i had added the day before
42. go to the part that i consistently enjoy working on and write one or two sentences and add em-dash parentheticals to a few places
43. rewrite those one or two sentences for a long time
44. finally combine the two sentences into one sentence and rewrite that sentence and then finally get a really good sentence there
*****
54. tell myself to spend one hour straight only working on the novel
55. acknowledge to myself that it won't happen
*****
84. google myself
85. google my favorite authors
86. google my name and the names of my favorite authors
87. maximize my novel and think about screaming
88. check e-mail
89. go to amazon.com and read reviews of books by lorrie moore
etc. also, i left out 'check how many people have visited my blog,' 'read other people's blogs and make amusing, irrelevant comments,' 'put my head down on the desk and listen to one or two songs without thinking,' and some other things
Our resident armchair psychologist (who has no medical training whatsoever) diagnoses attention deficit disorder with a side of caffeine/computer addiction syndrome. But what does he know? The entire litany sounds entirely too familiar for comfort, that's all we're saying. Except for the Lorrie Moore part. And we never google ourselves. Ever.
